Acceptance is my Power
Raylen
Hello, my name is Raylen . I’m fifteen years old, and I can proudly say that I live with ADHD. But three years ago, if you had met me, I probably would have told you that I struggled with ADHD. Today, I use different words because I’ve learned that ADHD is not something I have to be ashamed of or hide. It is something I can understand, talk about, and advocate for myself through.
To understand why that change is so important, you first have to understand what ADHD is, what it can do, and most importantly, what it means to the person living with it.
ADHD, or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how the brain develops and functions. ADHD is also much more than simply “not being able to sit still,” which is how it is sometimes misunderstood. There are three main presentations of ADHD: inattentive, hyperactive/impulsive, and combined.
The inattentive presentation can involve difficulty focusing, staying organized, remembering things, and completing tasks. The hyperactive/impulsive presentation can involve restlessness, high energy, difficulty slowing down, and acting or speaking before thinking. The combined presentation includes characteristics of both inattentiveness and hyperactivity/impulsivity.
For me, ADHD can affect attention, impulse control, organization, and executive functioning. Executive functioning includes the mental skills we use to plan, focus, remember information, solve problems, manage responsibilities, and regulate our emotions. Because of these differences in how my brain processes things, everyday routines can sometimes be challenging.
A few years ago, those challenges affected almost every part of my life. At school, ADHD could mean missed deadlines, messy workspaces, trouble multitasking, and unfinished projects. At home and in my friendships, it could lead to misunderstandings when I felt like nobody was listening, when I spoke without thinking or filtering my words, or when I forgot important dates. Sometimes my emotions felt bigger than I knew how to handle, which could leave me frustrated, stressed, or questioning my own abilities when everything around me became overwhelming.
For a long time, I focused on what ADHD made difficult for me. I thought of myself as someone who struggled with ADHD rather than someone who could learn to live with it.
That started to change when I learned about self-advocacy.
Self-advocacy means learning to speak up for yourself, communicate what you need, understand your strengths and challenges, and make sure your voice is heard. For me, it meant learning that asking for help does not make me weak. Explaining what I need does not make me difficult. And having ADHD does not mean I am incapable.
I began learning how to speak up when something wasn’t working for me and how to explain what I needed instead of keeping everything to myself. I learned to recognize when I was becoming overwhelmed, communicate my feelings, and find strategies that helped me work with my ADHD instead of constantly feeling like I was fighting against it.
A huge part of that journey has been my advocate, Abbi Mars.
Abbi helped me understand that self-advocacy isn't about having someone speak for me forever. It is about having someone help me find my own voice so that eventually I can use it for myself. With her support, I’ve learned how to better understand my ADHD, communicate my needs, and recognize that my differences don't have to define my limitations.
I still have challenges. ADHD didn’t suddenly disappear, and I don’t expect it to. But now I know that I have a voice, and I know how to use it.
Three years ago, I would have said that I struggled with ADHD. Today, I can proudly say that I live with ADHD — and I can also proudly say that I know how to advocate for myself.
My ADHD is part of my story, but it isn't the whole story. Learning to advocate for myself has helped me see that my brain may work differently, but that difference does not make me less capable. It has taught me that sometimes the most important person you can learn to speak up for is yourself.
And I owe a huge part of learning that lesson to Abbi.
Finding My Voice: Breein's Story
My name is Breein, and I recently finished the EMT program at Lakeland College and started my first job. Getting here wasn't always easy. I have ADD and challenges with executive functioning, and in high school I had a 504 Plan that gave me accommodations to help me be successful.
High school was different because my teachers already knew about my 504 Plan and the accommodations I needed. When I went to college, I quickly learned that things had changed. My professors didn't automatically know what I needed. It became my responsibility to speak up and communicate my needs.
At first, that wasn't always easy. I had to learn how to explain what I needed to be successful instead of waiting for someone else to do it for me. One thing that really helped was creating a One-Page Profile. My one-pager gave me a simple way to share important information about myself, including my strengths, what is important to me, and what support helps me succeed.
Having accommodations didn't make the EMT program easier—it gave me the support I needed to show what I could do. I still had to study, complete the work, learn the skills, and meet the same expectations. But learning to advocate for myself helped me get through the challenges and successfully complete my program.
Now that I am starting my first job, those self-advocacy skills are coming with me. I know more about myself, what helps me succeed, and how to communicate when I need support.
If I could tell other students one thing, it would be this: Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself. You know yourself better than anyone else. Learning what you need and how to communicate it can help you in high school, college, work, and wherever your future takes you.
Your voice is one of the most important tools you can take with you into adulthood.
Having a Good Work/Personal Life Balance
By Liz Apple
Even when I was in high school, I struggled with managing working a part-time job and going to school. This continued to be a problem throughout my college years and in my career. I still struggle sometimes with it. I wish that I had started learning to balance my work and personal lives better in high school before it became a problem. I have Autism and mental illness, which means that sometimes I have trouble balancing my life at work and outside of work. It’s important to start learning how to balance these two aspects of your life before you graduate. One thing that I did in high school was utilize a planner. Lots of apps exist for planners if you prefer to do things electronically. I also find it helpful to have a calendar too. I have a shared calendar with my family to keep track of not only what I’m doing on what days, but also where everyone in my family is going to be. Another step that I take is enhancing my personal life. In high school, I would take intentional time every day to “cultivate” my hobbies. This looks like for me taking an hour every day to do something that you enjoy. In high school, pick extracurricular activities that don’t feel like an obligation. There are lots of things in life that we have to do that we don’t enjoy, so while you have the opportunity, do a positive activity after school and work that brings you joy. I also set timers for homework and set time aside that I could do fun things. For me, that was reading. For others, it might be gaming on their favorite gaming system. Everyone is different, and that’s what makes us amazing human beings. It’s also important to connect with other people. If you are struggling with balancing your work/school and personal life, reach out to friends, family, or a trusted adult. It’s okay to ask for help and there’s no shame in it. Making intentional time for yourself and setting boundaries within your work and what you do outside of work can make all the difference!
Learn more about coping with stress at work:
Read about employee stress from Understood:
Extracurricular activities and employment
by Liz Apple
I loved doing extracurricular (outside of school) activities when I was going through grade and high school. It not only helped me gain valuable experience but also it helped me learn what I liked and didn’t like to do, which in turn helped me figure out what I wanted to do after high school. It can be intimidating to put yourself out there and be part of a group. When I was in high school, I struggled with letting others know about my disability because I didn’t want them to think I wasn’t going to help out. But I knew that doing activities outside of school would be an amazing learning opportunity. At school, I was on the scholastic bowl team and when it was available, I did Spanish club. Scholastic bowl helped immensely with my test taking skills, which I used a lot when I was in college and Spanish club helped me learn more about the language and culture that my teacher didn’t have time to teach us in class. I never did athletics, but I know that athletics can help you learn to work as a team, which can help you as you navigate having a job. Teamwork is very important when you have a job, particularly if you don’t get along with your coworkers or have anything in common. Extracurricular activities don’t have to be anything big. You are in control of how much you can do. Push yourself, but don’t bend over backwards until you break. Be honest about how much you can do. If you need accommodations, you have the right to ask for those. Accommodations when you are doing extracurricular activities through your school can be written instructions, extra support from an adult or your peers, or even equipment if you are doing a sport. Everyone deserves a chance to participate!
Learn more about IEPs and Extracurricular Activities:
Read this article from PACER:
Building Resilience and Coping with Setbacks
By Liz Apple
As frustrating as it can be, we all can have setbacks in progress. It’s what makes us human beings. Sometimes within our IEP, we don’t reach our goals, or we don’t meet them when we want to. It’s important to know how to cope with setbacks and develop resilience. Resilience doesn’t mean you don’t get to struggle and that you must ignore how you feel. Resilience is learning to recognize the challenges you are having and learning also how to plan for how to move forward. There were sometimes I didn’t reach my goal or was still in the process of reaching it. Everyone blooms at different times and that’s okay! What matters is that we are growing and learning. IEPs can help us with setting goals, adjusting goals, and help provide support that we need to accomplish our goals. When I was in school, I used my IEP to help me learn what I needed to do and who I could ask for help to support me in making decisions about how to meet my goals. It’s also important to learn how to cope with setbacks. Setbacks can be disappointing and frustrating. Don’t ignore the feelings that you have. Talk about what you did well in regard to your goal and what you still need help with. Talk with your IEP team and get ideas from them about how to reach your goal, even if it takes some time. Be patient and keep practicing even when you’ve met your goal. Keep a diary of your successes to inspire you to keep going. I loved making presentations for my IEP meetings about what I had been doing and all the wonderful things that I accomplished that year. If you struggle in writing, draw pictures of things that you want to accomplish and your goals. It takes work, but it is worth it to keep advocating and to keep learning!
More resources on how to cope with setback and build resilience:
Here’s a story from Understood about frustration and learning disabilities:
https://www.understood.org/en/articles/5-lessons-about-failure-from-my-life-with-learning-disabilities
Here’s how to help your child with self-esteem from Understood:
https://www.understood.org/en/articles/regain-self-esteem-in-new-school-year
Check out this article from Mayo Clinic about coping with setbacks and building resilence:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/resilience-training/in-depth/resilience/art-20046311
